Chapter ten

About an hour later Richie walked back in to his hotel room. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Sarah lying in bed, facing him. The bedside light behind her was the only source of light in the whole room.

When she didn’t speak like he expected she would, he turned to close the door behind him.

Once the door was closed and locked, he turned around and walked closer to the bed, only then he noticed Sarah’s eyes were closed and her deep breathing, indicating she was sleeping.

He reached to turn on his own light on his night stand, he needed to talk to her now, he didn’t want to wait until morning.

He got on the bed next to her, the light had brightened the room a little bit and he could notice the tear stains on her cheeks.

“Oh Sarah, I’m so sorry.” He ran a finger over the track the tears had left on her check.

He didn’t want to be the one to cause her pain, he didn’t want to hurt her, he needed to apologize to her now.

“Sarah?” He softly touched her shoulder, trying to wake her. He watched her face, waiting for her to open her eyes but nothing happened. He carefully shook her shoulder.

“Huh?” Sarah reacted confused when she woke. “Oh Richie.” She wanted to apologize to him but was distracted. “Ow.” She said instead.

Richie looked down to where her feet were supposed to be under the covers. “When did you last take pain killers?” He asked worried.

“I don’t know, this morning.” Sarah couldn’t remember if she took them later so it must have been that long ago.

Richie moved off the bed to search his bag for the box of pills.

When he straightened back up, he handed her two pills and started looking for a bottle of water for her to wash down the pills.

Sarah sat up in the bed, took the pills, along with the water and leaned back against the pillows, closing her eyes to wait for the painkillers to set in.

“You okay?” He asked carefully, not knowing how mad she might be with him right now. The pain must be distracting her of it.

Sarah nodded, then opened her eyes to meet his brown ones. “Yeah.” She reached for him, pulling him closer to her. “Richie, I’m so sorry.”

Richie interrupted her right then. “No, no, no. No, you don’t have a reason to be sorry for anything. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I got a little too excited, got carried away.” Richie looked her right in the eye, her beautiful green eyes, as he apologized. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles, not sure if he should kiss her lips.

Sarah moved her hand away from him, nervously she rested it on his abdomen, realizing it was the first time she was touching him, even though he was still wearing a t-shirt. “I know you want to, we should just do it.” The nerves in her stomach turned into a very tight knot.

Richie picked up her hand, linking his fingers with her. “No we shouldn’t.” He reached in to kiss her lips tenderly. “I know you’re not ready.”

The nerves in her stomach dissolved.

Richie could see she was relieved, proving she wasn’t ready yet. “Somehow I want this to be special, I dunno,” he shook his head like he really didn’t know, “like my first girlfriend back in high school.” He confessed.

“Oh.” She didn’t know he felt that way about it and was a little surprised to hear it.

“I’m glad we have more than sex. Lately every relationship was about sex. I like getting to know you.”

“Me too, I like this.” Sarah finally told him how she felt about it too.

“Good, so we’ll keep it the way we both like.” He smiled comfortingly at her.

Sarah reached in to kiss him, thankful at how understanding he was. She still didn’t know how she could deserve someone like him.

“Well then,” Richie concluded. “Sleep then?” He suggested. They had the whole day to themselves tomorrow, the plane wouldn’t leave until dinner time.

“Yeah.” She snuggled back down in the bed and waited for Richie to remove his clothes. As she watched him get out of the bed, she felt courageous herself. She lifted the bottom of her top pulling it over her head and dropping it to the floor. Then she reached down for the button of her jeans.

After Richie had left she fallen asleep while waiting for him, she hadn’t changed to her pj’s. She tried to get out of her jeans. She wanted to be ready when Richie turned around but her foot got caught.

“Do you need help?” He chuckled.

“I got stuck.” Sarah said helpless.

He helped her out of her jeans and got back in bed, letting her snuggle up against him. “So are we underwear sleepers now?” He joked.

“I thought I’d try it, maybe I like it.”

“I like it.”



The next morning Sarah woke up still in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. She felt his fingers stroking her bare back. Knowing he was awake she turned a little to see him.

His eyes were still closed and Sarah reached up to kiss his cheek, unable to reach higher.

A smiled curled on his lips. “Morning.” He said as he opened his eyes. “I was thinking, I think we need to talk.” He continued.
“What?” Sarah asked surprised. Had he changed his mind about the night before?
“Nothing bad.” He comforted. “I want to talk about your marriage.”
Sarah snorted. “Nothing bad.”

He pulled her closer, knowing it wouldn’t be easy. “I just want to know more about you.” He wasn’t going to ask very personal things, he just needed to know a few things.
“Okay.” Sarah said reluctantly.
“You can ask me whatever you want to know too.” He tried to compromise.

“Alright.” Sarah sighed. “What would you like to know?” She asked, still lying comfortably in his arms, enjoying the feel of him stroking her back.
“When you met him.”
“My last year of college, right before I applied to medical school, so I was 22.” Sarah answered his question.
“What’s his name?” Richie went on.

Sarah hadn’t mentioned his name and for a reason, she still didn't want to.

“Haven’t you learned from the Harry Potter movies? Don’t fear a name.” He tried to make her say it.
“Jonathan.” She said after a few more seconds.
“Oh.” Was Richie’s surprised reaction.
“Yeah.”
“That has to be…” He didn’t really know what it had to be. Rough? Difficult? Weird? It was close enough to his best friend’s name, it couldn’t be easy for her to hear.
“I’m glad he never used ‘Jon’ though, he liked his full name.” Sarah explained.
“Good, it’s not too weird?” He asked hopeful.
“It would be weird if it was your name.”
“Good thing I’m a Richard then.” He stated, making Sarah chuckle.

Richie went on with a few more questions, finding out more things he wanted to know about her. When her wedding day had been, November 18^th, 1990, and when she got divorced, 10^th of March 2003.

He also finally got the guts to ask her birthday, along with the year she was born, August 12^th, 1968, which would make her 43 soon.

He didn’t ask her about her own alcohol history, he knew he didn’t want to talk about his own, so didn’t bring it up.

Instead he asked more about her family, he already thought her father had passed away and Sarah confirmed he died shortly after Noah was born.

Like him, she was an only child.

Then the subject turned back to her marriage and Sarah told him how it started to get difficult but things fell in place, or so she had thought until everything turned even worse.

She told him Jonathan had been her first boyfriend and how she had trusted him completely. When things changed after they had their boys, she thought it was her fault; after all, she wanted the children.

Which brought Richie to his next question.

“Do you still want more children?” He asked.
“I think I do. I always wanted a big family, I think because I never had any brothers or sisters myself.” Sarah said honestly. “I want a girl.”

When Richie hugged her tighter, she knew he felt the same way.

They were silent for a while, while Richie thought of what she had said.

Finally he said it. “You should never blame yourself.”
Confused, Sarah looked up at him. “What do you mean?” She asked.
“That he beat you and r-”
“Don’t say it.” She stopped him.
He ignored her. “And raped you.”
“We were married.” She didn’t know why she was defending it, maybe she didn’t want to realize what it was.
“If he’s doing it against your will or beating you until you let him, it’s rape.” He turned to his side, making Sarah move too so he could lie next to her and face her.

He thought it had been years ago and he though she knew what it was but the sadness on her face told him she had never been confronted with it.

“I’m sorry.” He shouldn’t have brought it up. Sarah’s mood had changed, she looked sad and he didn’t like it.
“No, you’re right, it was…” she swallowed the lump in her throat, “rape.”
“Okay, let’s change subjects. What do you want to know about me?” He asked, wanting to make her sad thought go away again.
“Have you dated anyone famous?” Sarah asked.
Richie chuckled. “Really?” Surprised that that was her question, he searched his mind. “Well, other than Heather, Ally Sheedy and Cher but that was in the 80’s. Then was Heather and after that Denise Richards. Why do you want to know that?” He finally asked.
“Got to know what I’m up against.” Sarah shrugged.
“You’re not up against anyone. You’re perfect.” Catching himself not to say more.

Sarah smiled at him, maybe she could be perfect for him. He was perfect for her.

“What happened to your marriage?” She asked him.
“After we had Ava and Heather absolutely didn’t want another child, we just grew apart. It was hard enough to convince her to have one child. In the end we didn’t even talk anymore because of it.”
“She didn’t want Ava?” Sarah couldn’t believe she wouldn’t want children, she had always wanted them even when she was a child herself, she knew.

Richie gave her a sad smile. “Not really but I’m sure she loves her. It was a thing I had to convince her of, to do it for me.” He tried to explain without making Heather sound like a horrible mother.
“What about custody? When is Ava at your house?” Sarah asked her next question.
“All the time. She only goes for a weekend every two weeks or when I’m touring.” He explained their arrangement.

“So her threats were useless?” Sarah asked after a little bit of thinking.

Richie remembered how he had told Sarah about Heather’s threats to take full custody even though he knew she never really wanted it. “Yeah, went to rehab like I had to for keeping custody. Ava will be back home in August.”
“Good, I like her, she’s a nice girl. You did a good job.” She smiled at him.
“She likes you too. Said she liked you more than Denise. Seemed hard for her to say it though.” He remembered how his little girl struggled for words, like she was going to disappoint him when she’d say it.
“Of course, she was telling you she didn’t like your previous girlfriend.”
“I guess but if she had felt uncomfortable with Denise, I would have wanted to know.” He explained, then looked over his shoulder to see the clock.

“Enough serious talk, want to go check out the hotel’s pool?” He asked, instantly changing his mood.
“Richie,” Sarah hesitated before continuing, “I haven’t been swimming in over ten years, I don’t have a swim suit.”
“We’ll go shopping then.” He easily fixed the problem.